From a Levaya to a Hatuna

I left Northampton Thursday evening for Delaware and then New Jersey. You may ask what is so important about going on a late-August weekend trip?
First, my work on two college campuses make this a busy few weeks (Amherst students arrived Sunday and Smith students arrive today). Second, Maayan started school Monday morning at 8am (and we only arrived home at 1am). Third, my wife starts work this week and it is the last week before the children start school.

We had already planned on spending the weekend in the Yellow Spaces (of Monopoly) at our sister and brother's house in Margate and his synagogue in Ventnor. Aaron's sister Mimi was due to be married. In our family, life cycle events are often weekend affairs since many of us are Shomer Shabbat (Sabbath observant). What changed was the death of my Great-Aunt, Freda Evans.

After the death of her brother David in January, Aunt Freda was the last of my grandparents' generation to survive. While my wife still has one grandmother alive--Lilly Bromberg who is 101 should continue to have a long life--my last grandparent died a few years ago and now all of their siblings are dead as well. When my grandfather Max (my Pop-Pop) died soon after college, he was the last immigrant in my last family (all three of my other grandparents were born in this country--as was one of their parents). Still, my great-aunts and uncles were a link to my past--they were living embodiments of the myths that provide the back-stories to my family.

At the last minute, I was able to help perform the funeral service since the Cantor was new in the community. Since before my third birthday Aunt Freda was a widow. For as long as I can remember, my grandparents lived in her house with her (I think they moved in when I was five). She was a constant part of my life. One of the things that made me respect Aunt Freda the most was the way she survived the challenges of life. She outlived her son Bruce (who died of Lupus and after whom I am named). She outlived her husband Babe, who died at an early age of a heart attack. She outlived her son-in-law Ronnie, who died of cancer when I was in Junior High. Many people are brought down by such tragedy but Aunt Freda continued to love those around her and greeted life with a happy countenance. What I remember most about her is her laughter when I would visit her and my grandmother. We always sat in the kitchen because there was always something cooking (in case, as my cousin Michael said at the funeral, an army stopped by and needed a meal). They would tell the same jokes and laugh about life--two old yoles (as they often called themselves).

From a bittersweet funeral (after losing so many family members and outliving her siblings, it is hard to be sad when someone dies at 96), we drove to the Atlantic City area for a happier occasion. The wedding weekend also had heartache in the not-so-distant background since Aaron and Mimi's mother Faith died five weeks ago. Still, it is nice to celebrate a wedding of family members, to meet their friends and family, and to enjoy hopes for the future. My parents and brother Larry joined us as well, so we continued be with them (we only returned from our vacation in Nashville less than two weeks before).

It is hard not to think about the symbolism of moving from a funeral to a wedding. A funeral is a celebration of a person's past and a wedding is a celebration about the future. Sure, at a wedding you talk about their lives up to this point but the focus is on the better future that we they will have. In the Jewish wedding ceremony, Sheva Brachot/Seven Blessings, we move from Creation and the first Bride and Groom (Adam and Eve) to the future Redemption that could come from the bride and groom. We link the past to the future.

I wish that Aunt Freda (Fredyl bat Yosef v'Sarah) should be remembered for a blessing and that Mimi and Reuben Kantor have a life full of blessing.

Shalom,
Rabbi Bruce

PS--Welcome back to Smith and Amherst!

Jerusalem Diary - Day 1

I arrived in Israel early this morning. The last few times I have come, my time has not been my own since I was leading a group. This time, I have a week free in Jerusalem before my students arrive. . . so a diary of my time is in order.

Before leaving: Sunday, I officiated at the funeral of my great-aunt, Dr. Ethel Platt z"l. Aunt Ethel died on Shabbat at 91. She graduated medical school in 1941 and spent close to 50 years in practice with her husband, Dr. David Platt in a large family practice in Wilmington, DE. David was the brother of my grandmother, Francais Kramen z"l. It is sad to have to see family at a funeral but not so sad when someone lived an accomplished long life.

My parents always joke that we never spend more than 24 hours in Delaware. Since we didn't leave until after Shabbat, this time it was more like 20 hours. On the way home, Deborah dropped me at a hotel near the Newark airport. It was lucky that my pre-flight plans changed. My ticket was leaving from Newark and I had booked a flight from Hartford to JFK!

After meeting the Birthright group I was escorting to Israel, I made my way to the gate. There, a Levine cousin, Ronit Field called out to me. Of course, this wouldn't be the only chance meeting of the last two days . . . On the flight was my former professor from JTS, Dr. Ed Greenstein (who is cousins with AC student Josh Glasser) and his family. Ed's son is classmates with the son of the family I am staying with in Jersuaelm.

The Birthright group was heading to Jerusalem so I joined them to meet my host, my college Professor and friend, Dr. Renee Levine Mellamed. She told me she would call when she was able to meet me. It turns out the bus was in a great place for her to pick me up--between Gan Sacher and Wolfson towers. So I told the bus driver who told me to get in the middle of traffic with my bags! Typical Israeli bus driver. A few minutes later, Renee picked me up on the road to Hebrew University and the Israel museum.

After settling in to their apartment, having some breakfast, napping and showering, it was time to venture to the Center of Jerusalem. I took the 6 bus into the center and went to visit my beduin friends from Dahab off of Ben Yehuda. I met Issa and his brother two years ago when I came during the war. Rabbi David Small and I bought our wives jewelry and promised to return with groups. I did so last year and decided to say hello. They served me tea and we talked for almost an hour. They showed me the new stuff in their shop and I promised to return with my students.

I decided I needed some lunch and went to Pinati--the best humus place in the city. Pinati is a hole-in-the-wall store that I walked by many times until my friend Rabbi Matt Berkowitz showed it to me in 1993. They now have a glass enclosure at the top and I had a great seat to people watch. You never know who you will see! After a few minutes, I hear a knock on the window and a loud call of "Bruce!" Matt was here in Jerusalem. With the type of coincidence that occurs in our Holy City, he had a few minutes free and was wandering around. If I hadn't gone to Pinati and he hadn't had free time, we wouldn't have seen each other. After finishing, we went for a walk and caught up about families, work, and Matt's art. I took him to visit Dahab and then waited with him until he met a friend. We will get together again on Friday.
After a little shopping (2 cd's and 2 books), I took the bus back to Givat Mordechai for the evening.